Prayer

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with THANKSGIVING, let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.
Phillipians 4:6-10

Lord, let this verse be my life verse. Let it come to me whenever I find myself drifting and meditating on worldly things. Let me not focus on the things that I do not have or the things that get me down. I want to meditate on things that are true, pure and lovely. Get my focus back on track. I pray that I would come to you with a thankful heart and mind. Praise you for everything you have already giving me and continue to bless me with. I pray those things that I want/desire would be things after your own heart and not of my own. Constantly remind me of your word and pour this verse over me. I want to be the type of person that people look at and see Jesus in me. Give me a quiet spirit. I thank you for your love and sacrifice. I thank you for a godly husband who loves me more than I deserve. I thank you for providing a home, jobs, and food for us. I thank you for the closeknit family support we have. I thank you for the litting things, dogs, grass, air condition.

down

I tried a new recipe tonight, did not go well. In fact I think its gross. Now I must get something else for doug and I to eat before he gets home from basketball. Our dogs are already ruining our beautiful grass. My great grandmother passed away this morning. :( and I am alone tonight.
On the bright side Nellie gave me a facial today and I look fantastic.

Hopeful

I love the sonogram technicians at my doctors office. They are so nice and loving. They really care and are rooting for you in every way. I had my second appoint today and things are looking good. I was told that i have the same uterus as the technician. Weird. :) but she was excited. She also said that my uterin lining is beautiful. It looks exactly what it is supposed to look like for housing a little baby. Let me tell you, there is nothing for flattering than being told you have a beautiful uterus. I never thought something so simple would be so encouraging and flattering. It's one of the best compliments I have ever had. They made me feel so hopeful and encouraged today. I actually kind of look forward to my next appointment. Weird how God can change your perspective through two wonderful nurses.

The past couple days have been a whirlwind of emotions. Friday I had my first sonogram appointment for the fertility treatment Doug and I are doing. I was nervous and not wanting to go. I didn't know what to expect. A friend of mine kept asking if I was okay because apparentnly I looked extremely nervous. I was. Usually sonograms are supposed to be an exciting thing and being able to see the little life growing inside you. Well it's not fun when there is nothing there. I always thought my first sono would be seeing my baby. Growing up when I thought about having kids it never occurred to me that we would go thru this. God is so good and I know is using this to show us something and doing something big in our lives. Thankfully the technician was so nice and talked me through it all. She said everything looked normal and good. Nothing to be concerned about yet. My next series will be in the next week or two. I hope for the same results. I pray this doesn't wipe us out financially. Paying for each appointment out of pocket is never fun. God will provide.
Also today my mom informed me that my great grandmother who is going to be 101 years old this year is in the hospital due to a spot on her liver and there is nothing they can do to help her. All they can do is make her as comfortable as possible. It breaks my heart that i wont get a chance to see her again or introduce Doug to her. I selfishly pray for healing and that she will live another year. I pray that she wouldn't be in much pain anymore. I pray she finds Jesus.
In a happy note, Doug and I have a yard of beautiful grass. I just stare at it and thank God for blessing us with it. Thanks to niki's mom who got us a great deal!