Monday, October 21, 2013
Thankful
I am thankful for my husband. I am thankful for the man he is in Christ, for the friend he is to me, the husband to me and the father he is for our son. That last one is so important right now. Our little boy relies on him as much as he does me. I may be the one who cares for baby during the day but his daddy is the one who makes him laugh and smile. He feels secure in his arms to always fall asleep easily and quickly. This past weekend I experienced how important it is for baby to have his daddy around. He needed those strong arms and deep voice to soothe him and brighten his spirit. He needed that security and so did I. A weekend is too long to be away, And for these reasons, I will no longer travel with out Doug. :)
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
5 months
Happy 5 month birthday little boy! Or as daddy would say, happy madden day! ;) cannot believe our little hamburger is 5 months. Yes I said hamburger. The little mans nickname. Or for short, the burg. Which all stems from an original nickname that daddy and grandpa have come up with but I cannot say since its too close to his real name. :) so the burg it is. Which seems to be very fitting seeing as you are a big boy who I could just eat! Haha.
You are growing fast before our eyes. You jabber all the time, your smile is to die for! You can almost sit on your own, roll to one side and love to watch those puppies rough around. Which I am sure will join them soon in rough housing, especially with daddy.
I cherish every day with you and every day pray for the day that you become a Gehm. Also the day Facebook will light up with every picture I have taken of you! And I do mean EVERY picture!
We cannot imagine life with out you. So happy 5 months little boy! Lets celebrate with some shopping! ;)
You are growing fast before our eyes. You jabber all the time, your smile is to die for! You can almost sit on your own, roll to one side and love to watch those puppies rough around. Which I am sure will join them soon in rough housing, especially with daddy.
I cherish every day with you and every day pray for the day that you become a Gehm. Also the day Facebook will light up with every picture I have taken of you! And I do mean EVERY picture!
We cannot imagine life with out you. So happy 5 months little boy! Lets celebrate with some shopping! ;)
Thursday, June 27, 2013
3 months
My little man is 3 months old today. Yikes. Where has time gone. It feels like just yesterday we were picking him up from the hospital. Getting that phone call at 9:30 in the morning and having to wait till 5 pm to pick him up. Frantically getting everything we need and making calls to everyone, crying.. Signing placement papers, seeing him for the first time, not knowing if its ok to pick him up while we go over everything. Standing awkwardly in front of the hospital holding a 6 pound baby, waiting for Doug to get the car. Looking at this precious little boy, inside freaking out that I am so not prepared for this.. And oh Lord please don't let me drop him. The ride home, crying, excited, nervous, scared out of my mind. And now. He is 3 months. Chunky as can be and a full head of curly hair. And still more crying and thinking I have no idea what I'm doing and Lord don't let me drop him.. ;) ask me about the time when I'm holding baby and Doug is holding my arms and we are swaying back and forth in the living room. If only I had a camera. :) every day is a blessing and every day is a new struggle and a new achievement. Baby is learning to smile and giggle. He's getting strong and vocal. The joy of watching Doug and baby together is overwhelming. He is the best daddy out there. And baby loves him. Doug can make him smile more than anyone and also the only one who can put him into a sleep coma and get him to stay asleep. And for that i love that man. :) if you have had the experience of watching Doug with baby you know it's something he cherishes. Just the other day he was saying that this moment, being a father, was something he waited a long time for. We are blessed to have this child in our lives. We couldn't imagine life with out him.
Monday, May 20, 2013
update
It has been a little over 7 weeks since we were placed with a precious newborn baby boy. And seeing as I can't give any specific details about him or his case, I wanted to update you on things that have been going on with Doug and I through this whole process.
Besides the normal, sleep deprived zombies to I cant remember if I ate lunch or not... to someone putting his shirt on inside out to I didnt even brush my hair today... the joy of fostering a baby has completely opened my eyes to a world of things I had no idea about.
We get a lot of comments ranging from, excitement and joy to why fostering.. to "thats YOUR baby??", "I didn't know you were pregnant!" or my favorite..."you did this the easy way, you didn't go through labor and didn't get fat" Let me just say, this is NOT the easy way. I would be more than willing to putting on several pounds and going through the pain of labor. Thats easy compared to this. Fostering a baby doesnt take away the pain of not being able to get pregnant. It is still something I very much struggle with. I hope those who are able to get pregnant never take advantage of that. Every day is an effort to loving a child that didn't come from your body. Something I thought would be super easy. It took me a couple weeks to bond with him. I would cry every night wondering why I couldnt connect with him, why someone like me who is so desperate for a child had a hard time bonding. Why it seemed Doug had an easier time bonding..The first time Doug took him to his visitations with birth mom was the first day that we both knew he was ours and we felt every minute of that hour he was there. Every week taking him to the cps building and watching him go in is a reminder that he can be taken away at any time. It is heartbreaking everytime.
We have also experienced the mixed views of the biracial family. Most are good with it, but every now and then you do get the occasion glance at mom and baby and then dad and then back at mom.. thoughts swarming in their heads and ends with a glare. Its sad to think that this is the world we live in that some reactions go straight to that. I pray for what the future holds for us in that area, we will definitely have our challenges, but he will be very much ours no matter the color of our skin. And I will have my fun with it as well. :)
Another thing that has been eye opening to me is the drug world and the devastation that it does to people and their families. Seeing and hearing of babies exposed to those elements and dealing with the withdrawals and side effects in a child that small is heart breaking. It cuts to the core of my heart. Its a horrible thing to be in bondage to and it effects so many people around you. I pray for healing for anyone who is caught in that web of destruction.
Going from working fulltime to being a stay at home mom fulltime has been a huge struggle for me. I had this huge expectation of what it would be like before the baby.. my fantasy dream.. no where near real life. I love being home with him, dont think that I dont. But I had no idea of the boredom at first and then the loneliness. Desperate for any adult interaction. Having the tv on in the back ground just to hear voices or making useless trips to the store just so I can get out. Also the guilt that comes with it. I should be satisfied with where we are at. Im not working anymore, I should be jumping up with joy right?? Its a huge adjustment that changed in the matter of a phone call 7 weeks ago.
We pray for whats best for this child and selfishly pray that we are able to adopt him. There are many mixed thoughts that come along with that.. most know where we stand exactly with it all, we just asked that you continue to keep us in your prayers. :)
Besides the normal, sleep deprived zombies to I cant remember if I ate lunch or not... to someone putting his shirt on inside out to I didnt even brush my hair today... the joy of fostering a baby has completely opened my eyes to a world of things I had no idea about.
We get a lot of comments ranging from, excitement and joy to why fostering.. to "thats YOUR baby??", "I didn't know you were pregnant!" or my favorite..."you did this the easy way, you didn't go through labor and didn't get fat" Let me just say, this is NOT the easy way. I would be more than willing to putting on several pounds and going through the pain of labor. Thats easy compared to this. Fostering a baby doesnt take away the pain of not being able to get pregnant. It is still something I very much struggle with. I hope those who are able to get pregnant never take advantage of that. Every day is an effort to loving a child that didn't come from your body. Something I thought would be super easy. It took me a couple weeks to bond with him. I would cry every night wondering why I couldnt connect with him, why someone like me who is so desperate for a child had a hard time bonding. Why it seemed Doug had an easier time bonding..The first time Doug took him to his visitations with birth mom was the first day that we both knew he was ours and we felt every minute of that hour he was there. Every week taking him to the cps building and watching him go in is a reminder that he can be taken away at any time. It is heartbreaking everytime.
We have also experienced the mixed views of the biracial family. Most are good with it, but every now and then you do get the occasion glance at mom and baby and then dad and then back at mom.. thoughts swarming in their heads and ends with a glare. Its sad to think that this is the world we live in that some reactions go straight to that. I pray for what the future holds for us in that area, we will definitely have our challenges, but he will be very much ours no matter the color of our skin. And I will have my fun with it as well. :)
Another thing that has been eye opening to me is the drug world and the devastation that it does to people and their families. Seeing and hearing of babies exposed to those elements and dealing with the withdrawals and side effects in a child that small is heart breaking. It cuts to the core of my heart. Its a horrible thing to be in bondage to and it effects so many people around you. I pray for healing for anyone who is caught in that web of destruction.
Going from working fulltime to being a stay at home mom fulltime has been a huge struggle for me. I had this huge expectation of what it would be like before the baby.. my fantasy dream.. no where near real life. I love being home with him, dont think that I dont. But I had no idea of the boredom at first and then the loneliness. Desperate for any adult interaction. Having the tv on in the back ground just to hear voices or making useless trips to the store just so I can get out. Also the guilt that comes with it. I should be satisfied with where we are at. Im not working anymore, I should be jumping up with joy right?? Its a huge adjustment that changed in the matter of a phone call 7 weeks ago.
We pray for whats best for this child and selfishly pray that we are able to adopt him. There are many mixed thoughts that come along with that.. most know where we stand exactly with it all, we just asked that you continue to keep us in your prayers. :)
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
What a day...
Let me tell about yesterday...
One of the best, stressful, emotional days ever! We are officially licensed and waiting eagerly for that wonderful phone call about a placement! What you don't know... is that we have had 2 possible placements already... and here is where the story begins...
My family came into town this weekend to visit and get fingerprinted for our foster stuff. They got that done monday morning, then headed to our house so we could hang out till they had to venture back out to colorado. We decided to make a trip to the mall to shop around. While we were in one store, I got a phone call from an unknown Amarillo number, heart racing thinking its gotta be Bair.. I answered.. it was the doctors office.. boo! Doug had mentioned as we were walking out of that store that we probably wont get licensed until the end of the week. He was probably right, I'll calm down.. :)
Then 20 minutes later, in another store, He got the call! He just casualy showed me who it was and walked off.... Um yeah, you cant do that to a girl! I paced the store anxiously, freaking out... 10 minutes later... Doug gave me the thumbs up. I lost it! I mean I LOST IT... in the middle of Francescas. Jumping up and down, crying, hugging my family, crying like a little girl in my dads arms. (he was crying too, dont let him fool you :) ) That was a huge blessing for both of us. While this is all going on Doug is still on the phone with Bair.... Heres comes the scary part...
They already had a possible placement for us, a 5 day old baby girl... SHUT UP! She wanted us to think about it and get back to her because it was a different kind of situation then what we intended for. So we did... for a couple hours.. Praying for supernatural wisdom. Praying that God would make it obvious to us on what to do. the only thought was "Lord if this is our baby, make it happen, then if its not then she needs to be placed somewhere else fast."
Pulling up to Bair to get our license was surreal.. Thoughts swarming thru our heads, trying to figure out if we wanted this sweet little girl. We were ready to take the plunge, but wanted more info.
So by the time we showed up at their office.. they had already placed her with a different home. Prayer answered..
Ok lets move on then.. so while we were in the office ANOTHER one was presented to us. A little boy, older than we expected. She said to think and pray about it. She felt like this one could be our baby. His situation is senstive so we dont know much.. Shes going to keep us updated. and We are praying for God's will in all of this. We dont know who will be placed with us or when.. but we know we will be blessed no matter what.
We just ask that you pray for us as we embark on the next part of our journey! Pray for wisdom and clarity. Pray for emotional strength, especially for me. I selfishly ask that you pray that this would happen soon.. :)
One of the best, stressful, emotional days ever! We are officially licensed and waiting eagerly for that wonderful phone call about a placement! What you don't know... is that we have had 2 possible placements already... and here is where the story begins...
My family came into town this weekend to visit and get fingerprinted for our foster stuff. They got that done monday morning, then headed to our house so we could hang out till they had to venture back out to colorado. We decided to make a trip to the mall to shop around. While we were in one store, I got a phone call from an unknown Amarillo number, heart racing thinking its gotta be Bair.. I answered.. it was the doctors office.. boo! Doug had mentioned as we were walking out of that store that we probably wont get licensed until the end of the week. He was probably right, I'll calm down.. :)
Then 20 minutes later, in another store, He got the call! He just casualy showed me who it was and walked off.... Um yeah, you cant do that to a girl! I paced the store anxiously, freaking out... 10 minutes later... Doug gave me the thumbs up. I lost it! I mean I LOST IT... in the middle of Francescas. Jumping up and down, crying, hugging my family, crying like a little girl in my dads arms. (he was crying too, dont let him fool you :) ) That was a huge blessing for both of us. While this is all going on Doug is still on the phone with Bair.... Heres comes the scary part...
They already had a possible placement for us, a 5 day old baby girl... SHUT UP! She wanted us to think about it and get back to her because it was a different kind of situation then what we intended for. So we did... for a couple hours.. Praying for supernatural wisdom. Praying that God would make it obvious to us on what to do. the only thought was "Lord if this is our baby, make it happen, then if its not then she needs to be placed somewhere else fast."
Pulling up to Bair to get our license was surreal.. Thoughts swarming thru our heads, trying to figure out if we wanted this sweet little girl. We were ready to take the plunge, but wanted more info.
So by the time we showed up at their office.. they had already placed her with a different home. Prayer answered..
Ok lets move on then.. so while we were in the office ANOTHER one was presented to us. A little boy, older than we expected. She said to think and pray about it. She felt like this one could be our baby. His situation is senstive so we dont know much.. Shes going to keep us updated. and We are praying for God's will in all of this. We dont know who will be placed with us or when.. but we know we will be blessed no matter what.
We just ask that you pray for us as we embark on the next part of our journey! Pray for wisdom and clarity. Pray for emotional strength, especially for me. I selfishly ask that you pray that this would happen soon.. :)
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