Heart

I need to get some stuff out- I am having a hard time these days. Emotionally and physically. I have recently started taking Body Combat classes at the gym we go to. And let me tell you.. It is rough! I am so sore and stay sore for days. I am so out of shape. I may be thin but definitely not healthy! haha. What can I say, I love my junk food and laziness. :) The class is fun and a stress reliever. I wish that it was more than just once a week. But to make up for that I also am doing yoga once a week as well. Its time to kick it into gear and get healthy. Which leads me to the emotional struggle I have. As many know Doug and I have been trying to get pregnant for a little over 2 years. And no results. We will be going to a fertility doctor this month to hopefully get some guidance. But I am kind of at the point of feeling hopeless and that maybe this isnt Gods will for us. We both desperately want kids. Its extremely hard to watch and hear about so many women I know who end up pregnant so fast, not trying, or not even wanting kids. To be honest... Kind of tired of it. I rejoice with the fact that they get this amazing blessing, but at the same time its heart breaking for Doug and I. Mothers day was rough, I know Fathers day will be for Doug. Hopefully after our appointment will give us some clarity on what needs to happen next, whether that be some type of medical procedure or adoption. I pray for the Lords will, whatever it is.